AK47 Madness

When we told people we were going to visit the Ukraine most gave a confused look and asked why.
"Isn't it dangerous and a little bit run down" they all said? "Isn't it way to far to go for a weekend"

Well 3 hours is a little bit of a mission but for some reason the Ukraine had a certain appeal. I think it might have been the unknown. Something a little different and off the beaten track. Oh and the fact it offered AK47 shooting, crazy Russian orthodox churches, vodka and is one of the cheapest places in Europe!!!!

Five of us set off from Luton Airport On Friday arriving in the capital Kiev. We had all talked about the fact that we always get ripped off by taxis trying to get into the centre of the city from airports all over the world. We knew Kiev was going to be bad so were determined to pay no more than the guide booked told us.400 Hryvnia (UAH) was dropped to 350, 300, 250 then finally 200. Once agreed it doesn't stop there. When we got dropped off and went to pay, the driver started loudly protesting that we had it wrong. We stayed strong and walked off. Tourists 1 Kiev 0.

We missioned out for a meal were we had our first experience of the cheap prices and world renowned stunning woman. James who wewere travelling with was instantly besotted with the waitress. Five large meals and five pints of local larger only £20 or $50 total.Tourists 2 Kiev 0.

We tried to find a pub to go to but they all seemed closed so we did what the locals do and decided to buy some street beer and drink outsideand back at the hostel. Beer is sold in tent bars and hole in the wall bars everywhere and the locals drink it all day everyday. It is cheaper than water. 9am everybody has a 500 ml bottle on the way to work. We bought 11 large bottles that happened to be 7% and it came to less than £5or $13.

There's nothing better than the smell of gun powder in the morning so we headed straight for the range. Our transport was a little small so On the way there I had to curl up in the boot. Our driver was from Norway and owned the hostel we were staying inand without saying to much was a complete arrogant w%ank*r. After curling up tightly and being covered by a smelly blanket he then reminded me that if we got pulled over it would be my fault not his.

Quick facts: The AK47 is the worlds most used assualt rifle. It is very probable that the AK47 used by Osama Bin Laden was supplied by the US andmore than 90 million have been made and been used in every conflict since the weapon was mass produced.
I have shot guns before so new how to hold one. This could not be said for Julie. We had targets 100m away and got a clip each which held 30 bullets.I was first and shot mine off pretty quick. On single shot it is pretty accurate but on auto it is all over the place. Julie had a few shots and got a massive bruise on her shoulder so handed the gun over to me finish her clip, which I happily did, like rambo in a fit of rage.

Next on the packed list of sights was Kiev Pechersk Lavra a Russian Orthodox church dating back ages ago and listed on some lists as one of the seven wonders of the world. I have to say though it was pretty wonderful! Not a detail was speared from the gold domed roofs to the elaborate paintings inside. The Ukrainians, especially the woman it seemed, were extremely religious. Thousands crammed into the monastery grounds singing and kissing priests hands.The Monastery had caves underneath which we bought candles and slowly walked through behind what seemed like a million people. They were not afraid to 'pull a Ukrainian' and push you right out of the way to get to the elaborate mummified priests. Orderly English lines are not a common or practised exercise.

We left the monastery and headed for the Kievs statue of the motherhood which is 102m high, 550 tonnes and made of chrome nickel steel. Pretty big really and made even more staunch by the outdoor war museum next door which attempted to showcase the Ukraine's military prowess. Definately makes New Zealands arsenal look pretty small.

We had a massive night sampling the local honey chilly vodka. We ended up in a club where we quickly found that in the Ukraine it was the girls that make the moves. There were just not that many men and the fact I was foreign was even more appealing I think. I know this sounds stupid but I am very happily spoken for so it was a difficult night. I felt like a piece of meat damn it.

Next morning we jumped on the deepest underground metro in the world and headed for the Chenoble museum which to our shock was closed.The hostel owner/w%ank*r had told us was definitely open. Kiev scores a point!!!

Not to worry though there was so many things to do we just checked the map and moved on. We usually buy some sort of tourist treasure from every place we go so we headed to Andriyivskyi Uzviz or Андріївський узвіз or Andrew's Descent. A long cobblestone street lined with trinkets. Julie bought some russian doll christmas decorations. She was stoked!!!!!

The Ukraine was the furthest east we have ever been on our travels and it was awesome!! If only if we had been able to stay longer.

Pizza, Pesto and Perfection

Coming straight off the back of the Morocco trip, it was a long weekend here in London so it seemed a waste not to go somewhere. Thanks to a good tip from Doug in NZ we opted on a visit to Italy so we could check out the Cinque Terre which means Five Lands and comprises of five small coastal villages set along a stunning landscape complete with a 12km walkway along the cliffs between each village.

Seeing as we were flying into Pisa to connect to Cinque Terre it would have been criminal not to at least get a couple of cheesy shots of us pushing up the leaning tower and to explore Pisa a little. We didn’t realise however that it was a holiday in Italy on Friday so the place was heaving with people. Still, we managed to get our photos and look equally as stupid as all the other people standing in the middle of a grass patch with there hands in the air pushing an imaginary wall.

Pisa isn’t a huge place so we took the opportunity to visit another Tuscan town nearby, Lucca. It was a beautiful little town fully surrounded by a 4km wall which you can walk around and spy down into the lives of the people below. I like a good nosey at things so we did that. From the wall we spotted an interesting site of a clock tower with massive trees growing out the top of it. It became our mission to climb this tower.

This proved to be a difficult task once we dropped into the city walls, we couldn’t find the place. The walk became exhausting so we needed a gelato (Italian ice cream) pick me up. I had the best tiramisu gelato of all time, pure decadence…

The sugar break proved to be the saviour as our map reading became clear and we found the tower! After many stairs we were at the top with the trees growing from the roof, not as spectacular as we had thought but great for a view over the town. The stair climbing worked up an appetite so we did the typical touristy thing and got a pizza, a beer and a wine and sat in the square people watching and scoffing. There is no doubt that the Italians do good pizza, even the simplest cheese and tomato one is delicious.

Onto the Cinque Terre the next day, we were staying in a town called Vernazza (the birthplace of pesto apparently!). When we arrived on the train it was a sight to behold. The town was so packed with people you couldn’t actually make it down to the harbour or through the town. I think we had discovered where everyone goes on an Italian long weekend.

We had to wait a bit before we could check into our hotel so we fought through the crowds, grabbed the only seat we could find and sat in the square eating foccacias in the sun soaking in the atmosphere…things could have been worse. From the square we had a good view point of the walking track that connected Vernazza to Monterosso (our planned afternoon walk) and weren’t that impressed that it was chocker block.

Not deterred we set off for our afternoon walk in the hot sun, armed only with our cameras and a good covering of sunscreen. The scenery was stunning, walking along a rocky path amongst olive groves, grape vines and citrus trees looking down over the Mediterranean, a picture postcard. If only we could get rid of the large groups of overweight, average age 50+ tourists wearing Everest mountaineering boots, bum bags and walking with not one but two walking poles.
We arrived in Monterosso which is the only town along the Cinque Terre with a proper beach. We grabbed a big drink of water and a gelato and settled down on the rocky beach. It was quickly ascertained that a large proportion of men in Europe love the speedos no matter what age, shape or size they are, they strut along proud, sometimes ensuring they did 3 laps just in case you didn’t see them the first time. I must say though that the same has to be said for the topless women. They also came in all shapes, sizes and age!! When the speedo and topless bikini watching got a bit too much we headed back to Vernazza for the night.

Our hotel had a fabulous roof terrace and it seemed a shame to not take full advantage of this. So for our first night we watched the sun set over the castle on the hill and then went and grabbed a takeaway pesto pizza and some local wine. Being the birthplace of pesto it was no surprise that they do it well, and the wine despite being cheap was incredible. This was shaping up to be a holiday to remember.

We had one more night in Vernazza so the next day we completed the remainder of the 12km walk in between the villages, this time walking to Riamaggiore. The last 1km is the famous Via dell'Amore section (lovers lane) but to be honest it was the least impressive part of the whole track – I guess anything that is too touristy is always a let down. I suppose we could have walked back from here as it only took a couple of hours, but we were on holiday and there was a train so we decided to be lazy. Besides, the sooner we got back the sooner we could go and get another pesto pizza!

It was very VERY difficult to leave Italy, the weather was perfect, the food was simply divine, the scenery breathtaking and the high concentration of speedos, well that was just an added bonus. We quickly yearned to be back there as we were flying into London with rain and cold weather greeting us.

Morocco Mission

Longing to shake the familiarity of another European city trip we decided Morocco was an obvious choice to experience another continent without travelling too far. Although it has to be said that Morocco is a different kind of Africa, being so close to Spain and having been occupied by the French for so many years, there are definite European influences but Africa is still alive and well in Morocco.

Seeing as we had a jammed itinerary covering 10 days it is difficult to condense our experiences so here are some highlights so you don’t have pages of travel stories to wade through!

Marrakech – ate our body weight in traditional Moroccan fare at the hotel buffet, it actually ended up being one of the best dinners on the whole trip which was random! Great introduction into Moroccan tagines, couscous and desserts. Hotel also had a fab roof terrace with a fantastic view over the bustling Djemaa El-Fna square which was shrouded in smoke from the numerous food stalls. The sound of drumming and commotion travelled through the air.

Marrakech to Merzouga tour. 3 days 2 nights taking us into the Sahara desert over the top of the High Atlas mountains, through the Dades Valley. Stopped off at Kasbah of Ait Benhaddou, Ouarzazte, the Valley of the Roses, and of course the obligatory stops at tourist shops and restaurants where we could spend our hard earned money on set menus of tagines, couscous or kebabs (the staple set menu!). We actually had no idea where we were half the time as our driver only spoke French or Arabic and constantly cranked out Arabic tunes on old dusty cassette tapes. Thank goodness for ipods…

Stayed the first night in the Dades Valley in some mighty bling accommodation right on the river. Next morning it was on to Merzouga via the Todra Gorge. There was a lengthy stop here so that Chris and Andrew could pose relentlessly with their newly acquired head gear, yes, they bought matching turbans – when in Rome (or Morocco) I suppose!

We finally arrived in Merzouga deep in the Sahara after what seemed like the never-ending drive where our camels awaited. We trekked into the desert to stay the night at a berber camp. Quick summary on the camel ride, it was like having a permanent wedgie and if you were unlucky like Chris the camel behind you might hate you and grunt and drool all over you for the entire ride!

After a 14 hour drive, complete with 1 emergency toilet stop for Chris and Amy, we arrived back in Marrakech. Chris was very sick by the time we got back and unfortunately this was not a 24 hour thing. It meant he missed out on the trip to the Cascades du Ouzoud (waterfalls) the next day which was unlucky. Our last night in Marrakech involved eating in the square, roaming through the souks (markets) and inevitably being ripped off buying things (ok maybe that was just me being ripped off buying fruit and nuts!)

Next stop was the coastal town of Essouira. Loved it there, a big beach, loads of markets, super hot weather and a cool vibe about it. We could have spent a lot of time here chilling out. Chris managed to get a quick surf in and we wandered along to the end of the beach to visit the ruins of the Castle in the Sand which inspired the song by Jimi Hendrix.

Reluctantly we left Essouira and caught a train to Meknes. It was pretty quiet here but it was a good place to get a grand taxi (always a Mercedes Benz) to visit the ancient roman ruins of Volubilis and the town of Moulay Idriss which is apparently where Islam was first founded in Morocco.

The Riad (traditional Moroccan house) we were staying in was owned by a university professor and luckily for us that night he was putting on a dinner party with music for other professors and students and we were invited. The smell coming from the kitchen quickly persuaded us and it was a really interesting night. The food was very good, especially the pastilles which are traditionally made with pigeon but we this time were made with chicken. They look like samoas but are sweet and the chicken is mixed with almonds and you dip them in cinnamon and icing sugar. Absolutely divine, I am currently on the hunt for a recipe. Second course was whole chickens that had been salted overnight then baked with some delicious sauce. We were careful not to rip into the chickens with our left hand being in a Muslim country!

Our last stop in Morocco was Fes and we had been warned it would be chaos and we would be hassled non stop. I don’t know if it was because we were a group of 4 but we didn’t seem to be bothered too much? Despite this the old medina is a complicated network of streets so we opted to get a guide to show us all the good bits. No visit to Fes is complete without going to see the tanneries where they still dye the leather in the traditional style. In order to get a good view you have to get invited into a tannery shop so you can get onto a terrace. They give you a sprig of fresh mint to sniff to mask the hideous smell wafting up. It did seem a little voyeuristic to be standing above looking down on these workers knee deep in various substances with our little sprig of mint to stop the smell. It is hard to believe that people still work in these conditions to be honest.

So our trip to Morocco was full of interesting sights, smells, food, animals, toilets (for some of us) and experiences. It is a fascinating country where people seem to get on with their lives in a very traditional way. The landscape is mixed with lush green farms, high mountains with snow, beaches, old cities and expansive deserts. It was not uncommon to have to give way to a donkey carting various loads in the main streets but then to drive past a McDonalds 5 mins later. The separation from the old and new towns is very distinct, even with the dress. Women tend to be fully covered in the old town and rarely seen, whereas in the new towns they are dressed in more of a western style. We definitely came away more enlightened and happy we had the chance to visit.